Toilet Attempts: 6 Toilet Failures:2

Our first full day in Shanghai has been filled with many exciting things.

Went to Old Shanghai and walked around. Ratio of bicycles to cars: 300:1. Actually, I think we may have seen maybe 4 cars all morning. The people live on these narrow streets and closely packed houses and sell their produce right outside their homes. Peeking inside, we could see tiny one-room apartments. Everyone hangs their washing out from their windows. Their kitchen sinks are literally on the street. Despite all this, the stench was not there as we expected it to be. That's not to say that Shanghai doesn't have a distinct odour, it just wasn't as bad as you'd expect looking at the streets. And we got less stares than when in the more touristy areas. A little boy of about 7 years old was the only one to approach us. He looked to be on his way home from school for lunch. He was wearing shorts, a tan collared shirt and red scarf tied around his neck, boyscout style. He was carrying a composition book. 'Hello, it's very nice to see you' he said. After saying hi back, he looked me in the face with a full bright smile and said 'Do you like dog?' Terrified that he was going to offer me an afternoon snack, I said 'No,' to which he replied 'Then what do you like?' I had no answer. He asked where we were from, but didn't know Australia or kangaroos, but said he was from Shanghai. Then Nige said, 'This is our first day in Shanghai.' At first he looked confused so Nige repeated it. His face lit up and he said 'Oh, happy birthday!' He said it again a few times, then said 'Goodbye.' As he walked away, he turned back and yelled 'Happy Birthday!' again.

We then found the Yu Gardens Bazaar area with lots of tourist shops, lots of saying 'No.' When we say 'tourist,' 90% of them are Chinese. We found a large restaurant (or 'Shanghai Designated Tourist Distributed Restaveraw' as the window read) and decided to give it a go. We worked our way through the crowds, and bought noodles and fried rice (SAFE). It was good, and we did great with the chopsticks. We were the only westerners among at least 200 people.

Went into the Yu Gardens, built in the 16th century by the Pan family, rich Ming dynasty officials. They were damaged in the Opium War in 1842 and by the French, but are now restored. They are 'traditional' Chinese gardens, and absolutely beautiful. Cobblestone paths, various tea rooms and pagoda-like buildings, and pond swarming with genetically modified koi. They were massive. And Nige discovered they don't like Westerners, as they came up to the surface of the water for everyone but him. Throughout the gardens there were caves and tunnels linking various pathways and gorgeous lanterns with paintings on the paper sides. Since it is autumn, the trees were orange, red and yellow.

We then went to buy tickets for the circus, the Shanghai Acrobatic Troupe. The theatre just happens to be in the same building as the Ritz Carlton--thank GOD!!! Nige had to go number 2, and there was no better place. My previous attempt at a public toilet that day ended in utter failure. I paid 5 jiao to get in, only to be called back and given a few pieces of tissue by the man at the front. I walked in and there was a trough along each wall. 'Cubicles' were separated by partitions no higher than my hips, and no doors. The women all just drop their pants and go for it. They don't use paper either, so I'm assuming my blond hair and green eyes gave me away to the man at the entrance. Well, despite the fact that I was busting, stage fright won and I couldn't go. That and the fact that everyone was staring at me (blond hair fails me again). So by this time, the Ritz is like heaven to us. Nige even took some of the paper because it was like 10-ply. We're rationing it.

While waiting for the circus to start, we went to find beer. Unfortunately, the only place we could find nearby was 'Malone's American Cafe'--started by Canadians of course. It was a bar with gridiron on the TV and the largest selection of burgers on the menu I have ever seen anywhere. But we did drink Chinese beer, Tsing Tao and Tiger. Very satisfying. Unfortunately again, there were a few American businessmen at the next table totally perving on the hot young waitresses. One man was between 40 and 45 years old, the other was at least 50. They were total sleeze. So once again, I wanted to claim the Maple Leaf country as my home.

The circus was a great night. I think Nige and I were 2 of only a handful of Westerners. There was lots of juggling, flexing, balancing and a bit of magic. There were 2 young girls who completely contorted their bodies with their flexibility. One girl balanced on one hand on a pole for at least 10 minutes while doing stands in various positions. The other girl balanced chandalier-type things while twisting and balancing. At one point, she had one on each foot, in each hand, her forehead and one in her mouth. It was amazing, and all performed to the soundtrack of panpipe versions of 80s love songs.

After a long day, we fell into bed exhausted. But, the joys of paying for cheap bunk rooms surfaced that night when 3 people stumbled into the room after a long night at the pub. They reeked of alcohol, cigarettes, and garlic. Dave, who sounded English, would not turn the light off as he was already in bed. The two girls told him he should have to get up since he was in a bed at floor-level rather than a top bunk. He said no way, they should turn it off. A few minutes later, the light was still on. Dave said, in an American style accent, 'Turn the light off mother-fucker.' Still, the light stayed on. A few minutes later, 'Turn the fucking light off.' All of this in a light, giggling humour. The one girl still not yet passed out replied 'I don't respond to 'turn the fucking light out.'' Finally, someone got up and turned it off. But then the girl giggled and said 'I'm not tired yet Dave,' but he just farted in reply. Gotta love hostels.

In the middle of the night, I got up to use the toilet (surprise surprise). As we had been out all day, and in a single room the night before, this was my first trip to the shared toilets. I slithered out of my sleeping bag, found my flip flops in the dark and went down the hall. There were about 6 empty stalls, complete with flushing toilets and stalls WITH doors. But, oh my gosh! NO TOILET PAPER! So, I trudged back to the room, found my flashlight, found the roll of toilet paper I had in my bag, trudged back to the loo and was wide awake by the time I lay back in my cozy sleeping bag. I wish we could have afforded the Ritz.
-K