Chainsaw Wielding Scottish Bear In Beijing

Warning: a grizzly bear of Scottish origin has been let loose on the streets of Beijing. Last seen at the Jade Hostel, 5 Zhide Beixiang, Beijing. The bear is considered armed and dangerous and should not be approached. May appear tame during daylight hours with a light Scottish accent and polite manner; however, do not be deceived.

Okay, so we thought Garlic Man was bad...We shared a room last night with a Scotsman who snored like you wouldn't believe. Honestly, he soundled like a grizzly bear with a chainsaw. We got NO SLEEP AT ALL!!! We even put our iPod on all night, but not even our heaviest rock music could save us. There was also a young Chinese girl in the room with us, and all three of us were awake all night. Nigel even started throwing heavy items on the wood floor and shouting out the dude's name to stop him from snoring, but to no avail. First thing this morning, we changed rooms (so did the Chinese girl) so hopefully we'll be well rested tomorrow.

We set out to find some breakfast and wandered through a pedestrian mall with lots of Western stores and Chinese clothing stores. To get to the Summer Palace we took 2 metro trains and one bus. Built in the 18th century for the royal imperial court to escape the summer heat in the Forbidden City, it is a huge park of temples, gardens, pavilions and a huge lake. It was gorgeous. Needing a snack after all of our walking, we decided to try something new. I (Kel) saw a man eating a mini loaf of what looked like sweet bread, and decided to try it. The only English on the package said "Fneshness in evenyday, itis the best choice heal thiness." This Engrish is really cracking us up. The closest thing we can relate it to is a McDonald's hamburger bun (no seeds)-bread, but slightly sweet. Except this had a slightly toxic finish to the palate, bringing to mind paint thinners. So we got some Chips Ahoy cookies to wash it down with.

We managed to catch a bus directly back to Tienanmen Square to try to catch a glimpse of Chairman Mao in all his dead glory, but it was closed, so we wandered through the square again, watching people fly kites and dodging the same touts we saw yesterday. We went back to the mall from this morning and wandered through the back alley market stalls. We ate a Chinese burrito and a Chinese taco for dinner. Though this image sounds revolting, they were delicious. Then we both spent some hard cash on some quality down jackets (we hadn't thawed out since we stepped off the train yesterday morning). Mine is 'Happy Every Day Sort' brand, complete with the stylish fur-lined hood that all the Chinese girls wear. Nigel's is a North Face jacket, actually spelled correctly, unlike the one we saw earlier spelled something liked "Glorwe-Tek." I also bought a handbag and Nige bought a Chinese character scroll. Sum total: AU$70. Bargain. And now we're warm.

On the way back to the hostel, we went through the Donghuamen Yeshi Night Market. We had a huge array of scrumptous kebab snacks to choose from: snake (2 varieties), snails, frogs, grasshoppers, silk worms, centipedes, scorpions, tarantulas, sea horses, sea stars, testicles of various animals, shredded brains (spaghetti style), cow stomach, intestines, sparrows (de-feathered), crickets, and the boring lamb, chicken and beef. We decided to let caution to the wind and had a fried banana. Amazingly, Kel did NOT vomit.

We have some photos to upload, but we're having some trouble, so stay tuned...